Donald Trump Tells Homeless People To Go Home

And surprise, surprise! Blatantly lies about D.C. crime stats

Donald Trump has a real bug up his you-know-what about Washington, D.C. lately. Maybe he always has, but in an era of any-distraction-possible-from-the-Epstein-story, he’s decided to zero in on the nation’s capital, where he spends some of his time in between golf games in New Jersey and Florida.

It all started four days ago when former DOGE employee Edward “Big Balls” Coristine was allegedly assaulted during a carjacking attempt in DC. Two teenagers were arrested in connection with the event within 24 hours, a telling indication that law enforcement in Washington, D.C. might have their shit together. Undeterred, Trump took this as a major crime wave in the city and vowed to protect that “beautiful, handsome guy” who “went through a bad situation—to put it mildly. And there’s too much of it. We’re going to do something about it.” Errrr….D.C. law enforcement already did.

Let’s address the REAL crime stats in Washington, D.C., shall we?

Crime Trends Since 2020

Violent Crime & Homicides

• In 2023, the homicide rate in D.C. peaked dramatically, reaching 274 homicides—the highest level in over 20 years.

• However, in 2024, violent crime dropped sharply—down about 35% from 2023, with homicides alone falling 32% (from 274 to 187).

• Preliminary data suggests that compared to 2020, homicides decreased approximately 24% by 2024, alongside overall reductions in violent crime and major drop-offs in carjackings and other offenses.

• Notably, 2024 marked a 30‑year low for violent crime in the District.

Property Crime & Overall Crime

• In 2024, property crime declined about 11%, all reported crimes dropped 14%, and carjackings fell nearly 50% compared to 2023.

• Year-over-year comparisons show that total crime in 2024 was 15% lower than in 2023.

Sources: MPDC, Department of Justice, Center for American Progress, Axios

We’ll learn more tomorrow at the news conference. That is, if he can stay on track and not ramble on about hoaxes (2020 election, “Russia Russia Russia,” Epstein, etc), the “obliteration” of Iranian nuclear facilities, or how many wars he ended in X amount of time. I’ll be curious what crime statistics he has manufactured that he’ll use to, among other things, bring in 120 FBI agents to patrol the streets of D.C.? This is yet another poor excuse for a federalized power grab, brought to you by the “party of small government.”

This morning, Il Douche Donald Trump made this announcement on his social media platform:

First of all, homelessness has actually decreased in D.C. Of course, like in most cities and states across the U.S., it’s an issue that can’t just be unilaterally ordered out of existence by a crazy world leader. Housing prices have risen 162% since 2000, with wage increases averaging 87%, but that doesn’t count for uneven growth, education factors, gender gaps, and the fact that the national minimum wage hasn’t increased since 2009. For most people, even full-time wage earners, “affordable rent” is a thing of the past. In Washington D.C. alone, some reports show that the number of homeless/unhoused persons in the city with diagnosed mental issues is upwards of 80%. According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness, the Trump administration’s FY2026 budget plans to cut $532 million to the federal government's Homeless Assistance Grants account. Additionally, the budget proposal seeks to cut a historic 44% of funding available for HUD's affordable housing and community development programs.

What concerns me is Trump’s statement above claiming, “We will give you places to stay, but FAR from the Capital.” What does he mean by that? Is he using federal funds to set up housing? Are we talking tent cities? Will the D.C. homeless be sent to an “Alligator Alcatraz”-type facility? Will they replace the thousands of farm workers, domestic servants, restaurant workers, and day laborers who have been disappeared off the streets by ICE? With Trump, one never knows. Fear not, I’ll give a breakdown in tomorrow’s post.

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JD Vance appeared on the Fox News Show “Sunday Morning Futures” with Maria Bartiromo, where he parroted the usual propaganda responses to her Nerfball questions. On foreign policy, Vance’s portrayal of Trump as the “president of peace” was nothing short of saintly, because who better to broker a deal where Ukraine might hand over territory to the country that invaded it? Forget NATO, forget Kyiv’s stance, forget the small detail of international law; apparently, world peace hinged entirely on Trump’s personal attendance. The idea that Putin and Zelensky couldn’t possibly meet productively without Trump there to supervise made it sound less like diplomacy and more like a reality TV reunion special.

His Epstein commentary was another masterpiece of selective outrage — lots of finger-pointing at Democrats, plenty of insinuations, but no pesky evidence to slow the narrative down. Transparency, he assured us, was a top priority… right after making sure the subpoenas landed exactly where they’d be most politically useful.

Economics? According to Vance, tariffs were the magical cure for everything — they brought manufacturing home, made America rich, and apparently didn’t cause a single price hike or trade dispute worth mentioning. The Tim Cook “$600 billion investment” was treated as if Apple had already built the factories, cut the ribbon, and hired the workers, rather than as a vague pledge likely hedged with corporate caveats.

On AI, he bravely warned of the dangers — not the ones most experts talked about, like massive job displacement, but the truly dire risk that left-wing techies might use it to hurt conservatives’ feelings. Job losses, he assured us, were mostly hype; censorship and surveillance, now that was the real story. As for China, the plan was refreshingly simple: prosecute spies, rebuild manufacturing, and win the tech race — no details, no timelines, just the confidence of a man who’s sure it’ll all work out.

In the end, the interview was less a display of governing substance and more a greatest-hits album of partisan grievances. Democrats were the ever-present villains, Trump was the indispensable hero, and every complex policy challenge had a conveniently simple — and Republican-friendly — solution. If it was meant to sound like leadership, it mostly sounded like campaign season came early.