What Is Trump Diverting Our Attention From This Weekend?

The Mad King Goes "Full Metal Nutjob" On Rosie O'Donnell

Editor’s note: I took yesterday off rather than try to do a full article on Trump’s trip to Texas. In a nutshell, he did the bare minimum expected of any president. He greeted officials, toured some damage, met with some survivors, etc. Then he gave a presser that was mostly (as usual) quite awkward, suggesting the girls who died at Camp Mystic are “In God’ hands now,” which, even for the most ardent of the faithful believers, is the WORST thing you can tell someone who just lost a dear loved one, especially when they’re children in a situation that most likely could have been avoided.

The briefing was filled with effusive praise, some name-dropping (Including Dr. Phil, who, for some reason, was there). He said stupid things like:

“And I've even heard it went well over 30 feet. There's one story that uh one person said it had to be 60 feet at one moment. This is like a giant giant wave in the Pacific Ocean that the best surfers in the world would be afraid to surf.”

He called a CBS reporter “evil” for asking what would be a normal question in times like these, because he probably didn’t know the answer. And on and on. So there ya have it! You can watch the whole thing here if you have 45 minutes to kill.

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This morning, the world woke up to this chestnut from the mad king:

Aside from the f*cknuttery of it all, my first inclination was to wonder what he’s trying to divert our attention from. After all, he knows how to manipulate news cycles, and Fox “News” will spend at least the next 24 hours dissecting all the ways Trump might make this happen. Here are the top five reasons he could be musing about ripping the citizenship from Americans who were born here to get us off the scent:

1. The now “non-existent” Epstein files.
   On February 27th of this year, the DOJ’s Office of Public Affairs posted a press release on their website titled, “Attorney General Pamela Bondi Releases First Phase of Declassified Epstein Files.” The statement says straight up that Bondi, in conjunction with the FBI, declassified and publicly released files related to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and his sexual exploitation of over 250 underage girls at his homes in New York and Florida, among other locations. The first phase of declassified files largely contains documents that have been previously leaked but never released in a formal capacity by the U.S. Government.

   

   Remember this?
   
   Earlier this week, Bondi proclaimed there WAS no Epstein client list, and basically whitewashed the entire investigation, leaving many in the conspiracy-laden MAGAverse including Laura Loomer, Alex Jones (who was brought to tears), and of course, FBI’s Deputy Director Dan Bongino, who reportedly threatened to resign over the whole thing. But honestly, I think this is just a cover for ol’ Dan to leave after finding out what it’s like to have to go to a “real job” every day. I’m sure he’d rather go back to making gobs of money working from home as a conspiracy influencer. Poor baby!

2. The botched Texas flood situation.
   As described above, all is actually not well in how Texas, FEMA, and the U.S. Government has handled the disastrous flooding that occurred last week in and around Kerr County, TX along communities near the Guadalupe River (Side note: I’m sure Trump will rename it “River of America” shortly). Misspent funds, slow responses due to DHS Secretary Kristi Noem’s policy of personally signing off on any FEMA expenditure over $100K, and an absentee acting FEMA Director (Who knew there even was one?) belie Trump’s Kumbaya presser that took place yesterday. Who could blame him for bringing up Rosie O’Donnell, with whom he’s been feuding for decades, now? “Hey look! A squirrel!”

3. Or maybe it’s the bad news coming from a visit by Florida Democratic lawmakers to the cruelly named “Alligator Alcatraz” (Is anyone else mortified by what our nation has become? Not just me, right?).
   They observed that detainees were being held in cage-like units, with up to 32 men sharing only three toilets—often only one functioning—and no privacy in communal shower areas. The drinking water came from the same sinks connected to the toilets. Meals provided to detainees were described as nutritionally inadequate and significantly smaller than those prepared for staff, contributing to what lawmakers saw as inhumane treatment. The facility was also extremely hot, with indoor temperatures reaching over 83 degrees, despite being labeled as air-conditioned. Bugs were reported throughout, including on unused mattresses, and lawmakers noted that even the unoccupied units were infested.
   And this was after the concentration camp’s keyholders KNEW they were coming! I can only imagine what they would have seen had they actually been able to do their jobs to conduct an actual surprise inspection.

4. Trump’s disastrous tariff and trade policies.
   The world was a witness to poorly written letters to world leaders attempting to dictate tariff and trade terms via social media. Trump’s July 9th 90-day hard deadline came and went as his NEW deadline of August 1st (No seriously, THIS is the deadline, it ALWAYS was the deadline. Well, maybe…) jarred the market and made economists and everyone else scratch their heads. Of course, he cleared up his tariff formula during a presser held this past Wednesday:

   “The formula was a formula based on common sense—based on deficits, based on how we’ve been treated over the years, and based on raw numbers. And we’re going to have a couple more coming out today. Brazil, as an example, has been not good to us. Not good at all. We’re going to be releasing a Brazil number, I think later this afternoon or tomorrow morning.”

5. The unpopularity of Trump’s unpopular immigration policy as a whole, overseen by by “America’s A-hole and Cuckolded Ghoul” Stephen Miller.
   Currently standng at a 35% approval rating, according to a recent Gallup poll, it turns out only 30% of U.S. adults now favor reducing immigration—down from 55% in 2024—while a record-high 79% say immigration is a good thing for the country. This shift cuts across all party lines, though Republicans remain the only group with a plurality still favoring reduced immigration.

   The change coincides with a sharp drop in illegal border crossings, which has diminished public support for hardline enforcement measures like deportation, increased border agents, and expanding the U.S.-Mexico wall. Support for mass deportations has fallen to 38%, and support for more border agents is down 17 points to 59%. Meanwhile, 78% of Americans now back a pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants—especially those brought to the U.S. as children.
   I guess raiding parks, Home Depots, Walmarts, neighborhoods, restaurants, courthouses, and even medical clinics wasn’t as popular as anyone thought?

6. BONUS: Who the hell knows what bad news he’s privvy to that HASN’T broke yet?

The bottom line is that now he’s so freakin’ predictable. The world reads him like a comic book. Or should I say, one of those gory graphic novels the kids all rave about nowadays. As ridiculous as his comment about Rosie O’Donnell may be, it’s more than unprecedented for a sitting U.S. president to muse about stripping the rights of an American born citizen just because he doesn’t like what they say. Just when you think we’ve reached the bottom…